![]() ![]() Uriah refuses to even step into his own house. She later discovers that she is pregnant with his child.ĭavid's first instinct is to cover up the deed by recalling Uriah from battle and trying to get him to sleep with his wife. David has the unfortunately-named Bathsheba is brought to him, he has his way with her and then sends her home. He inquires as to her identity and is told that she is the wife of Uriah the Hittite, one of his own valiant men ( 1 Chronicles 11:41) who is away fighting David's wars for him. After an idle lounge-about one afternoon, he steps out to the balcony to survey his kingdom and spies a very beautiful woman (in the words of 2 Samuel 11) bathing. In spring, the time kings go out to battle, the glorious leader is slacking in the palace. The gossip rags in Zion/Jerusalem must have had a field day with King David. There is good money to be made by tabloids in putting people on pedestals and tearing them down later. Everyone loves to have a go at public figures. Which hot-blooded person wouldn't be excited about the power-tools macho-ness of assembling a black forest gateau with the aid of a vacuum cleaner, a paint spray gun and several canisters of nitrous oxide? The Times published a copy of the recipe here and The Independent, unsurprisingly, dissed it/its creator as pretentious.Įdison Chen, Nigella Lawson, Heston Blumenthal. These chaps were working on a recipe from Heston ( Fat Duck) Blumenthal's In Search of Perfection. Nigella recipes are so easy that even, if you pardon the expression, a half-brained monkey could whip them up."īut it became apparent late in the day that the recipe itself wasn't the problem. "If all else fails, you can adapt a recipe from How To Be A Domestic Goddess. Nigella made another appearance in our latest conversation on the infamous black forest gateaux project: This is why the obese glutton flopped in France like the rancid lard-butt that she is whereas Trish Deseine is so popular." There is nothing even remotely sexy about her inability to control herself. At the end of every show, they have this bit where she sneaks into the kitchen in her nightie to steal food. "You know, everyone complains that Nigella's shows are porn, that she uses sex to sell food." (Apparently the good lady spends alot of airtime licking things while staring meaningfully into the camera lens.) ".but I find her a disgusting glutton. "Well, Nigella always heaves in a heckload of butter, but then that's how her ass got to the size of a Budweiser horse's." ![]() ![]() "Do you think I should up the proportion of butter?" "Well, Nigella would say 'best dark chocolate' but look at her now." "Hey, what chocolate do you think is best for this cake?" So there are colleagues who spend hours doing a screen-by-screen critique of Edison Chen's home movies and then there are colleagues who, despite declaring themselves old skool, cannot resist folding in references to Nigella Lawson and her ample posterior into every (baking) conversation: ![]()
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